FREEEOM 3

P. 9-15

It appears that I missed a week here, but I will post this week’s gathering first and then catch up.

“The possibility that is inherent in any engagement far surpasses what your small self would decide you may learn from.”

I recall Margo relating to me a thought that she had soon after we had met one another. Quite often we would simply lie down together and hold one another. This was not sexual or even physical in nature, but I recall her telling me that her inner voice said something to the effect of “I can help heal this man and he can help heal me.”

“Now some of you deny the who and the what that you are. “I am a small man.” “I am a needy woman.” “I am an unhappy man.” “I am an angry woman.” And you confirm the identity because it’s what you know, or because you believe you cannot release the old that has been so over-identified as you that it has claimed your world in manifestation.”

 When I was in a meditative space living in South Dakota in my little trailer I had what you might call a vision/awareness/deep realization. This religious vocation I have been following for the past 27 years of my life was over. When I joined the Brothers I had every intention of staying with this vocation until I made my transition. It was a shock to realize that this part of my life had ended (long before I expected it to. I did not want to believe that I had put much time and effort, love and intention into this identity only to find it was no longer here. From a small-self perspective, I am sure I was thinking, “Does that mean all of this time has been wasted?”

Up until that point I could never understand why people would leave a vocation like that behind. I tried not to be judgemental and yet at the same time I could not grasp how a vocation to the religious life could be over and done, and yet here I was. I know there were some Brothers who have faced similar situations and yet have chosen to stay. I recall talking to one who said “If I left where would I go; what would I do; who would take care of me? Suppose I get old and sick. If I stay here with the Brothers I know I will be taking care of.”

I recognized I had the choice, and yet in my awareness I realized the choice of staying would be like putting myself in a tight little box from which there was no escape. I did not know what life, my Divine self had in store for me, and yet I also knew that it was time. (Like in the TV show Kung Fu--”Time to go Grasshopper!”) 

“Because you align to the old and you decide that it must be there, you witness it everywhere you see, and your confirmation of your small self—“I am angry or afraid”—will announce itself at every opportunity. As you realize the what that you are, the simple fact that the Divine as you is in form—not as an idea, but as a reality—you are confirmed in your reality because the vibratory field that you align”

As we grow in awareness, we are continually challenged to be conscious of the many choices we make all day long and to realize that many choices that we make are simply the result of our past, our history, our attachment to a limited sense of who we think we are. 

“So if you understand now that the small self, individually and collectively, is accountable to everything before it, which simply means in alignment to because you perceive it, and because you perceive it are informing it by consciousness to claim it in one way or another, you will begin to realize that your expression as a what, the small self as what, is dictating the reality you see. As you align to the Divine as what you are, the manifest what, what you begin to understand is that what is claimed by you will actually confirm the divinity that is inherent in you. The truth of who and what you are manifests here and realizes the truth in all you see before you. What realization is, is knowing, and to know the truth in anything is to realize it.”

The guide's continue to remind us over and over again the concept of possibility.

As I sat with that for a while I began to get a sense that my personality self/my ego/ my small self, if you will, could work on taking this step towards the realm of possibility, in this case, for instance, the possibility of knowing the truth of who I am. In another way we might be speaking of surrender, but it might not feel as harsh or even as difficult. The farthest point that the thinking mind/the personality self can bring us is to that realm of possibility, and this is one of the first steps in the process of continuing transformation. When we embrace the realm of possibility of knowing the truth of Who We Are, we also open ourselves up to the energy of the Divine which works with us in ways that we might not ever comprehend and yet it is happening all the time.

Within the group, we were reminded that the ego/ the small self/ the personality self, whatever words you would like to use to describe that limited point of view, that this part of us, this aspect of us can also grow and evolve. As Bob stated so well, there are many forms of spirituality that make the ego the enemy. It is not. It is a limited aspect of our self that has in mind our best good, but because it's purview is limited, so is its understanding of what our highest good is. And yet, once it realizes that, at least, in part, on this journey we are taking, that it is still guided and loved and made to feel safe that it grows with this created space that we have allowed it to have.

Look at yourself today you realize that there are things or aspects of your life that you might have been afraid of before or locked into before, and many of those thoughts, idea, beliefs, patterns of behavior are simply just no longer there. We have realized on some level of our being that these no longer serve us. Not only do we become willing to let them go, not only are we open to the possibility that they are released but they are released in truth. A simple example of our progress: we can show up on Tuesday evening even though we are very aware that our ego and our personality are going to be, not ignored so much, but certainly not given priority. In the past the ego might have felt that it was being dragged to one of these Tuesday night sessions kicking and screaming, and yet, for most of us for most of the time, that is not happening. Sure there might be some resistance at times but it is nothing like it might have been two or three years ago.

Another aspect of this growth that we are experiencing, even through our individual or separate self, is that we are taking more and more responsibility for our choices and for what shows up in our lives. Granted, that still can be frightening at worst or annoying at best, and yet we are willing to go beyond those old patterns of thought, especially realizing these old pieces of history knows no longer serve us. 

“So if you understand now that the small self, individually and collectively, is accountable to everything before it, which simply means in alignment to because you perceive it, and because you perceive it are informing it by consciousness to claim it in one way or another, you will begin to realize that your expression as a what, the small self as what, is dictating the reality you see. As you align to the Divine as what you are, the manifest what, what you begin to understand is that what is claimed by you will actually confirm the divinity that is inherent in you. The truth of who and what you are manifests here and realizes the truth in all you see before you. What realization is, is knowing, and to know the truth in anything is to realize it.”

The world changes as our perception of it changes. We change/transform as our perception of ourselves changes/transforms.

 “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

(attributed to Wayne Dyer)--also the physicist Max Planck

“As you realize the True Self, the True Self perceives the man that was ugly is beautiful, those that you thought were evil hold inherent good that seeks to be realized, and the world before you must—underline must—begin to reflect this consciousness, because consciousness manifests in form. The what that you are is the manifestation of the Divine as you, and its expression claims the world in high accord. What the Divine Self then claims is the Kingdom, and the Kingdom as we have described it—the realization of the Divine in all things, the knowing of the divine template that is always present in manifestation—confirms a new reality, and by your very presence, you are lifting your world in high accord.”

In love, peace, and gratitude.